... ishmael n. daro | sheaf

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February 26th, 2009

Racism is no monkey business

Travis The Chimp
Travis the chimpanzee, who savagely attacked a woman in Connecticut, has made himself a posthumous celebrity.

Having once starred in an Old Navy commercial, the 200-pound primate had not been seen publically until his attack sent someone to the hospital with grievous injuries. Travis himself was eventually shot and killed by police who arrived on scene. However, before the dust had settled on Travis’s outburst, a controversy had already erupted.

The New York Post ran an editorial cartoon Feb. 18 depicting two police officers shooting an ape to death while commenting, “They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.”

The cartoon sparked almost immediate outrage from New Yorkers including Al Sharpton, who decried it racist to compare President Obama to a monkey. Meanwhile, the editor-in-chief Col Allan insisted the cartoon was aimed at the recent economic legislation and the government as a whole, not the president. He has since issued a qualified apology to people who misunderstood the cartoon as veiled racism. However, he main tained that for other people who were exploiting the situation to attack the conservative paper, “no apology is due.”

One could argue that the cartoonist Sean Delonas did indeed mean to target the economic stimulus bill but the monkey comparison is so potent, he would need to be an imbecile not to know its power. Furthermore, the artist has a history of drawing offensive cartoons, specifically in relation to gay rights. One of his infamous pieces depicts a man applying for a marriage license with a sheep under his arm. This was drawn after New Jersey allowed civil unions for same-sex couples, linking homosexuality with bestiality.

Depicting black people as monkeys is not a new phenomenon. The relation is meant to suggest black people are somehow subhuman or uncivilized. Particularly after the American Civil War, propagandists tried to establish that the newly freed slaves were not as human as whites and therefore not worthy of having the same rights as white people.

By contrast, during slavery black people were depicted as simple, childlike, groveling and generally harmless in order to justify control over them. However, once they were freed, the black caricature turned into the violent, animalistic brute that has sustained itself to present day among racists.

In 1867, Reverend Buckner H. Payne published The Negro: What Is His Ethnological Status? and concluded that since black people were not descendents of Adam and Eve, they only gained passage onto Noah’sArk as “beasts” and not as fellow humans. More specifically, Payne suggested that one can “take up the monkey, and trace him … through his upward and advancing orders — baboon, ourang-outang and gorilla, up to the negro.”

This post-war depiction of black people as monkeys proved very influential. In 1900, Charles Carroll wrote the book The Negro is a Beast which made the connection much clearer: “If the White was created ‘in the image of God,’ then the Negro was made after some other model. And a glance at the Negro indicates the model; his very appearance suggests the ape.”

Racists have maintained the beastly depiction of black people since then. As recently as the 2008 presidential campaigns, t-shirts and stuffed animals depicting Obama as a monkey were available. At a rally for Sarah Palin, a man had taped an Obama sticker to the head of a monkey doll and displayed it proudly until he realized cameras were recording his racism.

The fact that people still feel comfortable making the monkey comparison in public suggests that everyone is still aware of it. So how could someone draw a cartoon that even mentions monkeys in relation to the American government without realizing the racist implications it would have for people?

To be fair to Delonas, the cartoon says some one else will have to “write” the next stimulus bill. American presidents do not write bills; they only sign them into law after Congress writes them.

But for a piece of legislation that Obama has been championing for months, it is impossible for the president not to be implicated.

Now that the story has exploded online, many people have commented on news sites to denounce the cartoon as racist while some have defended it on the grounds of free speech. After Obama’s election, many people talked about living in a post-racial world but whether that has happened is debatable.

If racism is on the decline it should be all right for a cartoonist to compare Obama to a monkey, just as many cartoonists depicted former President Bush as one. If such depictions still arouse public outrage, it could be that implied racism is in the eye of the beholder. What is racist to some is merely a neutral image to others who have not grown up with race as an important distinction among people.

Either way, as the so-called post-racial era continues, one can only hope that future readers will not even think of race when reading cartoons about monkeys. One comment on the website of the London Times seemed to be there already: “This cartoon is an insult to monkeys who played no part in drafting the stimulus bill.


Excerpt from The Negro: What is his Ethnological Status? on Google Books.

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January 16th, 2009

The strange world of competitive eating

Competitive eating often conjures images of people at a county fair, faces discoloured from having eaten a dozen pies without their hands. But competitive eating has a long and illustrious history that goes beyond estranged fathers trying to win back their children’s love by publicly humiliating themselves.

“If you have 30 hungry Neanderthals in a cave and a rabbit walks in, that is a competitive eating situation.” So says the International Federation of Competitive Eating. The IFOCE was founded in 1997 to unite the various eating competitions taking place around the world and to impose order on the gustatory world.

Like any sport, competitive eating has its heroes and champions. The most famous competitor is likely Takeru Kobayashi, a 165-pound 30-year-old from Japan. Kobayashi is a six-time world hot dog eating champion who once faced off against a 1,000-pound Kodiak bear for hot dog supremacy. Ultimately, the bear prevailed because, as his trainer said, “This bear’s really hungry.”

Other stars include the 100-pound Sonya Thomas who made her name by eating 65 hard-boiled eggs in under seven minutes. Crazy Legs Conti is an oyster eating specialist from New York, Ukrainian Oleg Zhornitskiy once ate four 32-ounce bowls of mayonnaise in eight minutes and the 420-pound American Eric Booker holds various records for candy bars, doughnuts and pumpkin pies.

The sport does not come without its risks. Although training for events is discouraged, many competitors eat enormous meals off the stage and some stretch their stomachs by drinking many gallons of water in one sitting. This can lead to water intoxication and death.

There is no strict rule against vomiting, so long as it does not touch the plate or table. There is considerable controversy over Kobayashi’s 2002 win for hot dog eating because he reportedly regurgitated some food but managed to contain it with his hands until time ran out. How eaters dispose of the massive quantities of food once competitions are over is not regulated although most professionals do not regurgitate.

The IFOCE holds many events around the United States and abroad but the organization and its competitors do not take themselves too seriously. Often wearing elaborate costumes and assuming nicknames such as The Tsunami or The Black Widow, the professional bingers draw crowds of thousands of people, eager to take in the spectacle. This interest has led to several documentaries about the sport as well as live broadcasts of competitions on ESPN.

Competitive eating is not entirely a joke. There are numerous strategies, such as dunking food in water to soften it, that are employed to eat as much as possible as quickly as possible. Jaw injuries, wisdom teeth or biting one’s tongue are just as dangerous as a quarterback throwing out his arm. Most professionals eat double the daily recommended amount of calories in one 12-minute sitting. Doctors uniformly denounce the sport as dangerous.

An ongoing debate in the world of furious feeders is whether fat hinders eating by leaving the stomach less room to stretch or if an already expanded stomach gives one the advantage. Ultimately, however, it comes down to willpower. These binging behemoths fight for hundreds of thousands of dollars yearly without regards to safety or sanity, all for their chance at glory.

“People think that if you have a huge appetite, then you’ll be better at it,” Kobayashi explained to a Japanese media outlet. “But actually, it’s how you confront the food that is brought to you. You have to be mentally and psychologically prepared.”

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January 3rd, 2009

Alcohol a part of who we are

It is bizarre that so many of us start a new calendar year with hangovers. Instead of renewal and fresh starts, millions wake up on Jan. 1 each year with queasiness and headaches as the last reminders of the previous year. These last ghosts of the previous calendar are exorcised very painfully sometimes. Liquor can be a harsh mistress but for all that she hurts us, she comforts us too.

Despite the problems alcohol usage leads to, drinking has been part of humanity for as far back as the ancient Egyptians. More recently, French champagne, Russian vodka and Canadian beer have all contributed to national identities. Molson Canadian’s long running advertising campaign said it succinctly with the declaration, “I am Canadian.” Presumably, drinking beer and being a citizen are directly related to one another.

Most people have among their most interesting stories tales of mad binges, benders and brannigans. Spring break and St. Patrick’s Day are mere euphemisms for getting extremely intoxicated and the legal drinking age is the one law almost everyone has broken with glee.

Though we enter 2009 with gloomy financial outlooks, alcohol sales are better than ever. Because people like to drink when they are happy and because they can’t help but drink when they are miserable, alcohol is considered recession-proof. According to the New York Times, even prostitution, the world’s oldest profession, has seen a decline in business but our other oldest vice remains in good health.

Canadians spend $18 billion per year on alcohol and half of that is beer. As a point of reference, the Canadian military will receive $19 billion for 2009. Collectively we spend almost as much on getting drunk as the country does on defense! Quite simply, people love to drink.

Our unquenchable thirst for liquor is so strong that even prohibition laws in Canada and the U.S. didn’t stop consumption. Throughout the Roaring Twenties, bootleggers, rum-runners and moonshiners supplied Americans with the liquor they so craved and Canadians played no small part in that illegal trade. Al Capone, tommy guns and speakeasies are the lasting symbols of Prohibition. The Noble Experiment as it was called had failed miserably and by 1932 Prohibition was repealed.

Perhaps the reason we love to drink is because water just isn’t that interesting. Even Jesus found a way to turn water into wine, much to the delight of his followers one assumes. Obviously there are certain mood-altering qualities of alcohol that people enjoy but that alone would not outweigh the many problems alcohol contributes to such as traffic accidents, violence and addiction.

The real reason we allow alcohol in our lives is because we are adults and adults are allowed to do what they please to their own bodies. Sure, there are problems with hooch but think of everything we would lose if we were not close with Jack Daniels, Captain Morgan and the rest of our watery friends. Throughout history, alcohol has been both hero and villain to us and many great people have struggled with the bottle. The cultural significance of alcohol is undeniable. Vincent van Gogh, Ernest Hemingway and Hunter S. Thompson were great drunks of their time and even world leaders such as Winston Churchill and our own John A. Macdonald were known for their affinity for old lady whiskey.

In 1737, Benjamin Franklin amassed over 200 words from around Philadelphia that described drunkenness. To say a man “has kill’d his dog” or that he has “been too free with the Creature” were just two of the many confusing ways to say that someone was sloshed, hammered, buzzed, wasted, pissed, tanked, sauced, blitzed or pie-eyed.

English probably has more words to describe being drunk than any other language around, so it may not be so strange that each year is heralded by hangovers and vomit. Hardly the new beginnings people envision the previous night when setting goals and making resolutions, but new beginnings nonetheless. At the very least, they are renewed commitments to enjoying life a little too much.

To quote the famous drinker Frank Sinatra: “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.”

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September 2nd, 2008

One World, One Big Sham

With the 2008 Beijing Olympics finally over, it’s time for reflection.

Every time the Games come on, whether we want to or not, Olympic fever takes hold of the world and simply won’t let go. It’s similar to the relationship between a dog and a mailman’s pantleg. There is no escaping the constant coverage on television and the coinciding commentary in print, radio and on the Internet.

The Olympic Games themselves are entertaining to watch as the best athletes of the world perform impressive feats of strength, endurance, flexibility and skill. There are few things more exhilarating than watching someone set the world record for the 100 metre freestyle swim, especially when done in one’s underwear on a bed of chip crumbs and self-loathing.

One wonders why we care about the Olympics at all. The athletes are impressive to be sure but being the world’s best archer sounds like a fairly useless accomplishment. Getting gold for one’s trampoline skills is slightly better, perhaps impressing friends at a summer barbecue every so often. Outside of the Olympics though, when was the last time Canadians took an interest in any of these sports? Not to say that the athletes don’t deserve to compete, but our collective lack of interest shows how little of an impact the sports have.

What makes the Olympics especially unbearable is the constant refrain that the Games are showcasing the best of humanity and somehow encouraging friendship, unity and progress. The slogan for the Beijing Olympics illustrates this platitude succinctly with “One World One Dream.”

The reality is quite different from such fantasy. In preparation for the event, China imposed more censorship and surveillance within its borders than ever before. According to some estimates, up to 1.5 million people were displaced from Beijing in order to even hold the event.

The most famous controversy surrounded the torch relay leading up to the games during which Tibetan activists and sympathizers protested the Chinese occupation of Tibet. As a result of the protests, a wave of nationalism swept China. Foreign stores were boycotted, Chinese blogs flowed with indignation and massive rallies were organized. After all, this was China’s coming out party and meddling foreigners were trying to ruin the whole thing by embarrassing the country.

Incidentally, the torch relay was started in 1936 by Nazi Germany. The Nazis, being the masters of propaganda that they were, toured the Olympic torch around the world to garner publicity in preparation for the Berlin Olympics.

And in the end, isn’t that all the Olympics Games are, a shameless publicity stunt? The host country gets to tout its achievements, the corporate sponsors advertise their charity and goodwill, and the participating countries ostentatiously display their patriotism.

Meanwhile, the news media uses the event to create instant celebrities out of unknown athletes in order to sell papers and increase ratings. Truthfully, how many people knew the name Usain Bolt two months ago? Luckily, a flashy fireworks display closes the Games and everyone goes home happy. If any athletic achievements are involved, it must be purely accidental.

The Beijing Olympic Games ended up costing about $40 billion, the most any country has ever spent. Imagine the good that money could have accomplished elsewhere. How many billions is Canada prepared to spend for some fleeting glory in 2010?

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September 14th, 2007

Newsflash: celebrities speak out on issues that matter

In these uncertain times it’s sometimes easy to forget all we should be thankful for. We all appreciate the food we eat, the water we drink, the medicines that keep us healthy, and the bear patrol that (despite the high taxes) keeps the bear attacks to a minimum. Those are no-brainers. Something absolutely crucial most of us forget is the generosity of our celebrities. Between making millions of dollars, spending millions of dollars, driving Lamborghinis, bathing in Cristal champagne, paying publicists and plastic surgeons, starring in sex tapes, going to rehab, and producing gems like “My Super Ex-Girlfriend”, our struggling celebrities still find time to promote charity and goodwill around the globe.

An important step in becoming a true saint is naming a foundation after yourself. The Britney Spears Foundation, for example, raises money to send kids to the Britney Spears Camp for the Performing Arts where children get the training they so desperately need in order to sing dull, over-produced, and forgettable pop songs. The Britney Spears Foundation also likes to create fun playrooms for sick kids on extended hospital stays; clearly finding the cure for Billy’s cancer isn’t as important as redecorating his hospital room. Besides, curing disease is so 80′s.

Richard Gere also has his own foundation, creatively named The Gere Foundation. Its primary goal is international awareness about Tibetan freedom. Mr. Gere was born and raised in Philadelphia and therefore has a strong connection to Tibet. Thanks to his efforts, it is believed that communist China will grant Tibet its freedom after a few more protests. Chinese president Hu Jintao has said publicly that he feels bad for being so mean to Tibet but that he feels even worse that the guy from “Pretty Woman” is angry with his government. A full conversion from communism to democracy is expected within the year.

Another actor who spreads the good word is Michael J. Fox. The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research has spent over 95 million dollars to find a cure for Parkinson’s disease. In this crazy world of ours where everyone does things for selfish reasons, it’s nice to see an actor who has absolutely nothing to benefit from Parkinson’s research spending so much time and money on the issue. Mr. Fox is a strong supporter of embryonic stem cell research since many researchers think it could lead to a Parkinson’s cure. Though there is strong opposition to stem cell advancement, Michael J. Fox has maintained his controversial position. Since Mr. Fox has no apparent bias on the matter it seems like we can trust that his intentions are noble.

There are also those who give back to the community more impulsively. Last year, Jessica Simpson received a free sports car at the MTV Movie Awards which she decided to trade in for a mini-van and donate to a Mexican orphanage. This not only showcases Jessica’s generous nature but that she is also smart with her money. Why spend your own money if you can just re-gift free stuff? It is a lesson we can all apply to our lives, especially with the holiday season approaching. Best of all, she traded the sexy sports car for a hideous minivan. Not only is this more functional, it also prevents the orphans from owning something nice for a change. This will keep them grounded. Good thinking, Jess!

Avril Lavigne is another great example of someone who just gets it. She revealed in a recent interview that “when the hurricane thing happened” she went to her closet, filled six boxes of stuff and ordered her assistant to “take it to Katrina!” Avril proves that you don’t need to know that Katrina isn’t a person in order to give her your old clothes. Let’s hope the assistant was more informed about the situation in New Orleans and that the torn jeans and studded belt actually made it to a deserving family in need.

These are only a few examples of celebrity benevolence but there are enough to write a textbook. The important lesson to take away is that people who entertain us also have important causes we should be part of. Celebrities are so much more than beautiful people who make a ton of money for minimal work. They also sing and dance and pretend to be someone else on camera. When one of these demigods takes up a cause it is our duty to pay attention and donate. And I am truly thankful for this.

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